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A Jack Cubera Novel

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Retired PI Jack Cubera just wants to drink beer, fish the flats, and live the simple life of a full-time boat bum. One problem: he’s just discovered his old nemesis—the Key’s most notorious real estate developer—floating tits-up in a weenie bikini in the Islamorada backwaters, landing him high on the suspect list.

 

To clear his name, Jack investigates the curious demise and soon discovers the developer’s most outrageous development to date, Coconut Key—a manmade island shaped like a giant daiquiri glass—is “breaking ground” atop a lobster-breeding habitat in the middle of a pristine bay. As Jack sets out to derail the invasive project and save his salty slice of paradise, a host of unscrupulous characters flush from the shadows soon delivering Jack to the most perplexing question of all: Why would anyone build an island in the middle of an archipelago? The answer, which hinges on a baitfish cage filled with breast implants, proves far bigger than mere shady real-estate dealings.

 

An Offbeat Florida Mystery

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Luck turns when two fishermen, Slim Zimmerman and Barley Weir, stumble across 150 pounds of cocaine adrift in the Gulf Stream. With a street value over eight million dollars, the grungy duo sets up a buyer then rumbles through Florida in their 1973 El Camino to unload the square grouper and end their financial woes. 

 

Unfortunately, in their efforts to make the rendezvous, they become unexpectedly entangled with a host of unsavory characters, including an expatriate haunted by his single testicle, a destitute real estate developer with a penchant for GMILFs, a toupee-wearing pederast, Florida’s first closet-gay Governor, and a game warden turned eco-maniac, all of whom must be dealt with as a Category 5 hurricane, Cyclone Tyrone, spins ashore.

 

Pure Gonzo on a Global Scale

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Two professional drifters, Nick Du Monde and Haggard Burns, are on the lam from anything resembling gainful employment. With a carte blanche credit line (drawn on fraudulent documents) the duo has fled life’s traditional trappings and now drifts from continent to continent in their quest for the purest elixir on earth—the Nectar.

 

So far their three year safari has delivered them to some premium firewaters. From libations laced with thermal tubeworms to spirits distilled with reptilian scales. But have any of them been the true Nectar? In their insatiable haste to rest that question, they forge onward despite mental and physical capacities that have been withered by epicurean excess.

 

Ultimately, they awake after a drunken blackout only to discover they’ve somehow arrived at a small coastal village saturated with an entire subculture of roving bohemians just like them. It is here with these like-minded vagabundos and amid this crease of terra incognita that Nectars of other persuasions threaten to derail their intoxicating safari, or, at least, completely redefine it.